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Sunday, December 19, 2004 

Every year around this time I have to tell myself it's not a contest -- it's not the number of hours clocked in the study chair, it's learning and all that good jazz. I know it's not a macho contest. After all, I can drink coffee and caffiene with the best of them. Still, every year I feel like I just don't have the staying power that all these other kids have.

Is it burnout? If so, it's never happened before, but how else to explain why I come home earlier and earlier each night? I mean, come on -- it's not that hard. It's not that nuts. It's just overdrawing my resources, that's all.

My flight leaves on 10 PM on Tuesday, and I can't jolly wait to stock up on the hugs I've been sorely missing. Thank god New York hasn't been oppressively lonely, because there's a great library just around the corner that seems to be the place for depressed kids to fling themselves off of. It's been good. I guess it still is, except for this weird and distracting throbbing in my right temple that's been bugging me all day.

Maybe it's just the feeling that there's so much that I could be doing besides sitting in a chair learning about products liability and intentional torts. I was joking today -- in the context of LoTR, of course -- that if I had dedicated all the hours of education I've accumulated over the past two decades into archery or swordfighting, I'd be pretty pretty handy with sharp metal even given my unsoldierly physique and lack of hand-eye coordination. Or imagine all the trees I could have planted. Or whales I could have saved.

About me

  • I'm daft
  • From Arlington, Virginia, United States

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