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Tuesday, June 01, 2004 

There's nothing like a new e-mail address and university ID to reinforce the sense that change is coming, especially when you have to go from the already-not-too-slick "dsdsds" (UBC) to "dws254" (NYU). I get quite a bit of webspace too, though, so I guess the money private universities suck up from tuition do go towards some good -- this means I can cut my web dependence on the ex-Boy, in any case!

I spent most of the day punching holes in the ozone layer while chauffering my grandfather (aged 92, I think) to and from his opthamologist's appointment. He's the exception to the rule that must drive health researchers nuts: he eats out twice a day (greasy Chinese banquet food, usually), was born into a fairly impoverished Shanghai family, and still walks an hour a day even though he had a pacemaker put in two years ago. He went almost nine decades without needing glasses, and has the phone numbers of most Chinese restaurants in the Vancouver area memorised. My mum's started to notice that he's aging, though. He doesn't hear as well as he used to; his vision has deteriorated so much (and so quickly) that he's getting surgery at the end of June. It's all happened in the past year or so, and I guess he doesn't seem as invincible as he used to. It's like watching a legend become undone.

Today could have been lifted from four years ago. I decided to wear a pair of ancient (and bigger) pair of jeans because of all the driving I'd be doing today, and realised I'm growing into the idea of being happy with the way I was before I started going crazy. I feel like I've finally come to a boundary -- not here or there -- and can have the satisfaction of sitting on the fence for awhile, and enjoying the view of both sides. It's like for a little time, I can stop justifying myself to anyone at all.

I haven't felt this way for years.

About me

  • I'm daft
  • From Arlington, Virginia, United States

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