For room and board downtown this weekend, my aunt commissioned me to make my grandmother's apartment literally look as though "no one lived there" -- ironic considering I was living there, but apparently prospective clients have a difficult time imagining an apartment as their space if there's Chinese newspapers strewn around. It's odd, picking up the odds and ends that define the presence of another person's life: little piles of bread tabs, scribbles on notepads, slouching piles of magazines and collections of greeting cards. A part of me wanted to stand by my grandma's clutter, but it's hard to go against the woman that generously agreed to put me up, feed me for three days on a few hours' notice, and seems generally well-dispositioned when I drop by to use the Internet at 8 AM.
On a less positive note, however, I think I'm binging again (quite opposite to what Linger does). It used to be always to compensate for something -- I'd starve before I knew I had to go out for dinner, or would eat pure junk on the weekend when I went home when I was trying to get my weight back up -- but now it seems like my way of dealing with excess, unstructured, and unproductive free time. I hate feeing useless. It's easier to forget I have nothing to do when I'm in the city and people are always going somewhere; at home, the trees and the house remain static unless the septic or water system decides to take a holiday. I took out Fundamentals of American Law from VPL and happily agreed to write an overview of BC Forestry Law for Gordon to make work for myself. Gardening, pruning, and weeding an acre's worth of plants is another way.
I want to be useful.
On a less positive note, however, I think I'm binging again (quite opposite to what Linger does). It used to be always to compensate for something -- I'd starve before I knew I had to go out for dinner, or would eat pure junk on the weekend when I went home when I was trying to get my weight back up -- but now it seems like my way of dealing with excess, unstructured, and unproductive free time. I hate feeing useless. It's easier to forget I have nothing to do when I'm in the city and people are always going somewhere; at home, the trees and the house remain static unless the septic or water system decides to take a holiday. I took out Fundamentals of American Law from VPL and happily agreed to write an overview of BC Forestry Law for Gordon to make work for myself. Gardening, pruning, and weeding an acre's worth of plants is another way.
I want to be useful.
